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| Author: |
Tony O'Neill |
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Tony on The Cure Is The Curse: “It’s no secret that I spent some time in the methadone clinics in LA, which were a pretty rough place. It did inspire quite a bit of writing though, including a long section in digging the vein and this poem. Having been a methadone patient in both LA and London, I can definitely say that things were much more humane in London. That said, it’s kind of like the choice between a kick in the balls and a kick in the teeth. This poem featured originally in songs from the shooting gallery.”
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| Submission Date: |
| 15 Jan 2010 |
Category: |
Poetry
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In Podcast and Chap-book
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The Cure Is The Curse
the cure is the curse
in the methadone clinics of L.A.
generations of misery
a mountain of abscesses
armies of hurt
pent between dirty fluorescent lit
institutional walls
the old Chinese
points to his down-turned mouth
and you say ahhhhh
after swallowing:
they own your balls
they own your soul and now
they own your spit.
in the parking lot out back
only those able to regurgitate at will
into label-less brown medicine bottles
can make enough for a quarter
of a bag of dope
isn’t it beautiful
making out
in the land of the free?
life on methadone
at first is like walking
through a sea of ink
like your brain has been pulled out
and replaced
by pond scum:
you can’t think, your prick
doesn’t work
and you can’t even
get high anymore.
then they cut your dose
and the trouble really begins:
on the outpatient reduction cure
no-one ever
gets clean.
many don’t come back
but no-one
gets clean.
the sign out front says
“Here to Help!”
but 2 weeks in, when
12 dollars doesn’t get you enough methadone
to stay well
and a bag of heroin is 7 dollars downtown...
(Well,
you do the math)
in the methadone clinics of L.A.
and in the 12-step meeting rooms
and anyplace – anywhere
the cure is the curse
because when the anesthesia wears off
life buries you
under a kinetic landslide of
images, emotions, fear,
pain, futility
your fighting arm has withered
and died through non-use
and each successive blow resounds like
a thousand atomic bombs
One of Tony’s favourite youtube videos: TOM WAITS - Heart attack and Vine
Stand-out lyric: “This stuff’ll probably kill ya / let’s do another line”
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