Lunch Break
I am flicking through a fashion magazine. There are women and men in it. They are wearing clothes. I want to be a fashion model. I eat a piece of chocolate cake.
I look up at the clock on the wall. It's half past twelve. On the table in front of me is the rest of my lunch. Chocolate cake and a bottle of mineral water. There is a thin sheet of plastic that my sandwiches were in before I ate them. My sandwiches had cheese inside them. And butter. And pieces of lettuce. And pickle. I turn the page in the fashion magazine and look at a man and a woman nearly kissing. They are covered in sweat or sea water. They are by the sea. I look at the clock on the wall. It's half and one minute past twelve.
I read an article in the fashion magazine about fashion.
Fashion is important to everyone whether they know it or not. I am wearing my work clothes. I am on trend.
I look at a picture of Alexa Chung in the fashion magazine. I look at a picture of Mark Ronson in the fashion magazine. I look at a picture of Agyness Deyn in the fashion magazine. I look at a picture of Gok Wan in the fashion magazine. Agyness Deyn and Mark Ronson and Alexa Chung and Gok Wan. Gok Wan is my hero. I think about Gok Wan complimenting Agyness Deyn. He says, Nice Bangers, Agnyess. He touches Agyness' bangers and then looks at the camera and winks. Agyness wrinkles her nose and winks at everyone.
I take a bite of chocolate cake and think about my bangers. I touch my bangers. I think about covering my bangers in the fat from the chocolate.
My boss looks into the room that I am in and says, hi. I say, hi. I have thirty three minutes of lunch break left. I am reading an article about fashion. I have lost my place in the article and start from the beginning again. I read an article about fashion.
I dream about being a fashion model on the catwalk. I don't fall over. People take photos of me spinning around on the catwalk. Mark Ronson is having sex with Lady Gaga on top of a piano. Lady Gaga is applauding Mark Ronson, who is applauding himself.
The clock says it is twelve thirty and three minutes. I am floating around on my dreams, right?
I stop reading the fashion magazine. I don't feel anything. My brain stops working. I feel hungry. I take a large bite of chocolate cake. My brain is fizzing. It is fizzing full of fizzy fashion and chocolate cakes and all of the lovely celebrities and the taste of chocolate. I think that the taste of chocolate is real. My boss pops his head round the door and says, your face is covered in sticky chocolate.
I look at my boss and smile.
I wipe my face with the fashion magazine.
I wipe the chocolate on Mark Ronson and Agyness Deyn and Lady Gaga and Gok Wan and Alexa Chung. They are all covered in chocolate. As I wipe the chocolate, I lick the pages. I lick the chocolate from all of their bodies.
My boss says, that is a communal copy.
He says, you can't just act that way, Mandy. My name is Mandy.
I say, sorry.
He says, it's OK.
He says, you have to buy it though.
I say, OK.
I give him £5.
He says, thanks Mandy.
I stand up and vomit onto the floor. I can see a picture of Gok Wan in my vomit. I say, I'm ill, can I go home.
He says, no.
He says, you look fine to me, Mandy.
I look fine to him. I sit down and carry on eating the chocolate cake and reading my fashion magazine.
Video: Jake Thackray - Sister Josephine from 1981.
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