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Stephen Daniel Lewis
Author: Stephen Daniel Lewis interviews himself
  Q:  What are you eating right now?
A:  Celery soup.
Q:  Why?
A:  It costs fifty-three cents and is sort of white, so if it goes cold I can cut up bananas and pretend it is cereal and milk.
Q:  If you were a zombie, what kind of zombie would you be?
A:  An athletic one.
Submission Date:
19 Feb 2008 Category:   Flash fiction In Podcast and Chap-book
it feels like october

She was sitting at the bar.  She didn’t see me, she was calm.  I could be calm too. My friend, she couldn’t be calm. She saw the girl at the bar and said,  “Let’s go, I think we should leave.”
          I asked her why.      
          She said because of the girl at the bar.  
“Which girl?”  
“The one with the red sweater.”
          “Oh.”
          “Why are you worried?” I said.  “It’s a big bar.”
          “Ok.”
          “We’ll sit in the back.”
          “Ok.”  
          I walked to a booth.  I wanted to buy a drink but I was nervous being at the bar and I had to pee.  If I walked up to buy a drink and the girl looked at me I’d piss myself.  I asked my friend where the bathroom was.
          “Fuck you.  I want to leave now.”
          “I need to piss.”
          “Ok, I’m leaving.  Fuck off and good night.”
          She walked towards the door.  I walked onto the balcony.  There were only a few people.  They were very drunk.  I lit a cigarette and huddled on the corner close to the building and began peeing.  I heard a girl directly below me scream so I finished fast and went inside.
          I went to the bar and bought a whiskey sour.  The girl didn’t look at me.  I went back to the booth.  I wanted her to look at me.  I wanted her to remember nights spent in my room clogged with cigarette smoke and empty wine bottles.  I wanted her to think of the scenes, so hazy she can’t clearly recall what happened but feels that they were good.  She should have noticed me by the bar. I finished my drink, ate the cherry.  I took a breath.  I went for another.
          She was talking to another girl and didn’t see me again.  I walked halfway back to the booth, stopped, finished my whiskey in one drink.  I didn’t eat the cherry this time, my mouth burned.  I walked back to the bar.  Shots.  I gave her sidelong glances.  Say something, I thought.  I don’t know if I meant her or me.  I looked directly at her.  She didn’t see me again.  She was ignoring me.  
          Staring at her, I ordered another drink.  I bought something with vodka in it because the girl liked vodka.  I went to her and set the glass in front of her.
          She looked at me.  I looked down.  That red sweater was horrible.  I couldn’t look at her face.  I could see the ends of her black hair falling over her shoulders.  I thought maybe she was laughing.  What the hell is going on, I thought.  I left the drink and walked onto the balcony.  I searched my pockets for a cigarette.  Nothing.  My phone rang.  I threw it off the balcony.  I heard a girl’s scream below.
          I walked back inside, passed the girl at the bar.  She looked at me.  I looked at her sweater, not her face and thought maybe she was smiling still.  Or laughing.  I walked outside.  I walked around back.  I needed my goddamn phone.  It was wading in a puddle, dripping warm water.  I picked it up to call someone.  She/he answered “Hello?” but I wasn’t sure why I called that person so I threw my phone back on the ground.  It may have been raining or maybe it was just wet under the balcony.  I looked at the rows of cars lined up neatly in the alley.  They were nose to end.  I used to line up Hot Wheels like that when I was a kid.  The streetlights shone on them, the windshields were ice blue.  The light looked good reflecting on the cars that way.  I thought about being a kid, about how this is almost the same thing.  Cars lined up.  Just bigger cars.  I laughed.  I thought about the girl in the bar laughing.  Her ugly red sweater.  I picked my phone up again and threw it at the balcony, at the bar, at her.  I forgot about the cars, the blue streetlights.  I started walking home.

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