Beat the Dust's Jan 08 issue - do not exceed stated dosage. Get your eyes round more cutting-edge writing from poets and prosesters on both sides of the pond, including Steve Finbow, Ben Myers, Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal on his second outing at BTD; Aleathia Drehmer and Beat the Dust's first haibun written by Ken Head. You can also read the late John Lennon's interview with one of our featured writers. Imagine! Yes, in Beat the Dust's continued quest to make the author bio interesting, writers have the option to write an interview with themselves carried out by a well-known person or character. More details in the Beat the Dust submission guidelines (see below), the ultimate guide for writers with 'kiss my shades!' attitude wanting to submit their work to Beat the Dust.
Q: What have you forgotten? A: The name of the woman who wrote whatsitcalled.
Q: What was the date of your last act of violence? A: January 7th 2008.
Q: Where is home? A: Where the art is.
Q: Name a part of the body where you have a physical scar from childhood. A: The right side of my skull.
Q: Name a part of your body that you rarely touch. A: My pancreatic notch
Submission Date:
19 Jan 2008
Category:
Short story
In Podcast and Chap-book
Title:
the yellow springs of north london
Excerpt:
Most mornings, Billy makes it home. Dragging himself onto the Tube, if the Tube is running. Or slumping disheveled on the back seat of a bus, a bendy bus smelling of burned rubber, greasy kebabs, overripe humans. Sometimes Billy walks – along King’s Cross Road, up Penton Rise, on towards the Angel. ...
The late John Lennon interviews Luis Cuauhtemoc Berriozabal
JL: Luis, good to meet you mate. Now let me see, Paul or John? LCB: John, of course. You're the best.
JL: What the hell is wrong with your eye, mate? LCB: I think I got the pink eye, John. I'm not a doctor, but that's what my family says it is. So don't get too close. I'll see the eye doctor in the morning.
JL: I heard that happens when someone farts directly into your eye or on your pillow? LCB: John, that's from Knocked Up. I don't know if that's how it happens, but I'm certain no one farted directly into my eye. I did fall asleep sitting down on my pillow last night, but I'm not sure if I let loose. I did eat some amazing Peruvian beans yesterday.
JL: What's this rubbish, Lola And Victoria? It looks like you combined two Kinks songs and threw in some words. LCB: John, that's why you're the best. I mean, what are you, clairvoyant? I was listening to some Kinks songs, Lola and Victoria, and was also listening to The Kinks’ the Village Green Preservation Society album. That's where "The Village Green Tavern" came from.
JL: If you could go back in time in The Flux Capacitor, what would you do, where would you go? LCB: John, I would probably find my way to New York when you were still alive and beat the dust out of that bastard, Chapman, and save your life. I can only imagine what incredible music you would have created. Like I said before, you're the best.
Submission Date:
19 Jan 2008
Category:
Poetry
In Podcast and Chap-book
Title:
lola and victoria
Excerpt:
Lola and Victoria, Cross-dressers, Fell for each other At the Vill...
Q: What is the meaning of superkalifragilisticexpealidocious? A: I don’t know but it might be something quite atrocious.
Q: What is the smallest town you have ever lived in? A: Sahuarita, AZ. We had a general store, post office and tortilla factory/bar as our center of town.
Q: Which writers do you think will sneak up on you by surprise and dash you with their words? A: Ed Churchouse, Barton Smock, and Iris Appelquist.
Q: What does one do in Painted Post, NY? A: Watch clouds, listen to wind, and wait for Colonial Days to happen.
Q: What is the one thing you look forward to most this year? A: Going to England.
Submission Date:
19 Jan 2008
Category:
Flash fiction
In Podcast and Chap-book
Title:
drowning
Excerpt:
Mikela watches Jonah blow smoke rings around his pallid face in the half darkness. The wisps trail from his lips along the bridge of his straight, long nose before dissolving in front of his eyes. Light from the television screen reflects in his glasses as he sits motionless.&n...
Q: What are your politics this voting year? A: Sarcastic-Communist. Q: What's that mean? A: One believes in good pay but not taking their job seriously. Q: Do you believe you have a chance. A: I eat two bananas a day to soften my poop.
Submission Date:
08 Jan 2008
Category:
Poetry
In Podcast and Chap-book
Title:
the italian princess
Excerpt:
In the low-income apartment in Liberty, Maria lay in bed.
Wanda: What do you love the most? Pandora: Inventing worlds.
Wanda: What do you hate the most? Pandora: Cowards.
Wanda: What do you dream of? Pandora: A lake in the middle of the forest. All is still and I know I’m not alone.
Wanda: What is your favourite line of poetry? Pandora: ‘I cannot make it cohere’.
Submission Date:
08 Jan 2008
Category:
Flash fiction
In Podcast and Chap-book
Title:
wanda
Excerpt:
'Cause I'm a Fujiyama Mama and I'm just about to blow my top!
Mom shouts to turn the music down, but I need it loud, I need it to scream and holler and wail and shriek. I can see Billy’s house across the street. I can see Billy’s got a pretty girl on his arm. There’s a storm gatherin...
Q: What remuneration have you received for your poetry? A: A Starbucks’ card from Jack Micheline’s son and complete ostracization from my wife’s family.
Q: Why don’t you have a Myspace or blog or website? A: Unresolved ambivalence relative to your throats and my cock.
Q: Is it true you were involved in a bar fight around 12:17am on Xmas morning. A: Yes.
Q: General thoughts? A: Being an existentialist doesn’t give you the right to piss on herd creatures, but it’s a good reason to drink.
Submission Date:
08 Jan 2008
Category:
Poetry
In Podcast and Chap-book
Title:
my wife and her best friend
Excerpt:
are inside with the babies trying to talk each other into believin...
Tell me about your new novel. It’s called The Missing Kidney and it’s published in 2008 by Social Disease. It’s about tarmac, Latino bongo players and grilled fish, but not exclusively.
Tell me about The Brutalists. The Brutalists are myself, Tony O’Neill and Adelle Stripe. Our debut collection is Nowhere Fast and it’s out now through Captains Of Industry Books here.
Didn’t you write a novel called The Book Of Fuck? Yes. It’s a masterpiece.
What is your greatest extravagance? Shoes. I’ve acquired five pairs of them in the past month. The latest were today, which I lifted from a pile of clothes dumped outside a charity shop. Brown leather ankle boot brogues. Then I felt guilty, so I posted a £5 note through the letterbox as payment.
What was the last thing you put in your mouth? Welsh rarebit.
Submission Date:
08 Jan 2008
Category:
Flash fiction
In Podcast and Chap-book
Title:
sad tree surgeon story
Excerpt:
Modern attitudes towards mental health being what they are, those blessed with an over-fertile imagination find themselves with limited viable options when it comes to choosing a career. Me, I’ve never really bothered to waste much time on such matters. But every now and again the to...
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